By Asma bint Shameem
The correct rules regarding divorce are:
When a man divorces his wife, her iddah starts IMMEDIATELY
It lasts for THREE menstrual cycles or till she gives birth, if she’s pregnant
They have a chance to reconcile with each other.
The wife should stay at her HUSBAND’s house during these three months
She should ADORN herself and does NOT wear hijaab in front of him.
She lives like she did BEFORE the divorce. She cooks, cleans and does EVERYTHING like she did before EXCEPT intercouse.
The purpose behind this is that our Deen ENCOURAGES that the husband and wife get back together.
If he decides to take her back, all he has to do is say he’s taking her back or show in other ways that he wants to reconcile, for example have intercourse with her.
And he does not have to do anything else to claim her back.
She is his wife again.
But this will count as FIRST divorce.
If he does NOT take her back WITHIN the iddah period, and her iddah is OVER, she goes home to her father’s house and they’re divorced.
Once the iddah is over, she may marry someone else.
HOWEVER,
IF the ex husband wants to reconcile AFTER the iddah is over, *he may STILL do so*.
But now he has to marry her again with a NEW contract and a NEW mahr.
However he only has ONE MORE chance for a revocable divorce.
If he divorces her a SECOND time, the SAME rules will apply.
BUT if he divorces her a THIRD time, then that divorce is IRREVOCABLE and she will be permanently forbidden to marry.
That is UNLESS she marries a different person, WITHOUT the intention of marrying the first person, and LIVES a NORMAL life with her second husband. And IF the second husband HAPPENS BY CHANCE to die or divorce her, she may be allowed to marry her first husband.
IF she married the second husband JUST to get back with her first husband, that is a MAJOR SIN and HARAAM.
Shaikh Ibn Baaz said:
“If a man divorces his wife and this is the first or second talaaq and she has not ended her ‘iddah (by giving birth if she is pregnant or by the passage of three menstrual cycles), then he can take his wife back by saying, “I am taking you back” or “I am keeping you.”
Then his taking her back is valid.
Or he may do some action intending thereby to take her back, such as having intercourse with the intention of taking her back.
The Sunnah is to have two witnesses to the fact that he has taken her back, so that two witnesses testify to that, because Allaah says:
“Then when they are about to attain their term appointed, either take them back in a good manner or part with them in a good manner. And take as witness two just persons from among you (Muslims)”[al-Talaaq 65:2]
In this manner a man may take his wife back.
But if the ‘iddah has ended following a first or second talaaq, then there has to be a new marriage contract.
In this case he has to propose marriage like any other man, to her guardian and to her.
When she and her guardian agree and they agree upon a mahr, then the marriage contract is completed.
That must be done in the presence of two just witnesses.
But if the divorce is the final – i.e., third – divorce, then she becomes haraam for him until another man has married her, because Allaah says:
“And if he has divorced her (the third time), then she is not lawful unto him thereafter until she has married another husband” [al-Baqarah 2:230]
So it is not permissible for him to marry her unless she has been married to another man and the marriage has been consummated, then he leaves her either through death or divorce.
This marriage must be a legitimate shar’i marriage; if she marries him just to make it permissible for her to go back to her first husband, that is not permitted and she does not become permissible (to the first husband).”
(Fataawa Al-Talaaq 1/195-201)
And Allaah knows best