By Asma Bint Shameem
1. The families of the boy and the girl meet and talk to each other.
The males can look at the perspective groom and the females can look at the bride, and get to know him or her.
They also can ask around and get to know the friends of the perspective groom or bride and get an idea of the kind of person he or she is.
Then when all looks good, the boy can meet the girl in the presence of the girl’s Wali a couple of times or so.
And they can discuss things in front of the wali without any khulwah.
They can also see if there’s chemistry/attraction between them.
If everyone is pleased, the marriage should be arranged soon.
And should not be delayed unnecessarily.
A long engagement is discouraged because the two might fall into fitnah.
So if both parties like each other, there’s no reason why they should not get married.
2. There’s a difference of opinion among the scholars about
how much of a woman may be seen if a man wants to look at her for marriage purposes.
According to Imaam Ahmad, a woman may be seen without hijaab so he can see her hair, face and hands.
But once he’s seen her, she should wear hijaab from him and he cannot see her hair anymore until the Nikaah is done.
This can easily be achieved by looking at a photograph.
Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said:
“The Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam
said:
“When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.”
He said:
I proposed to a girl and I used to hide myself from her until I saw that which encouraged me to marry her, and I went ahead and married her.”
(Abu Dawood-saheeh by al-Albaani)
Muhammad ibn Maslamah radhi Allaahu anhu said:
“I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her.
It was said to him: “Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam?”
He said,
“When Allaah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.”
(Ibn Maajah-saheeh by al-Albaani)
Shaikh ibn Baaz said:
“If she uncovers her face, hands and head for him, there is no objection, according to the most correct opinion.Some of the scholars said that it is sufficient for him to see her face and hands, but the most correct opinion is that there is no objection to him seeing her head, face, hands and feet, according to the aforementioned Hadeeth. But it is not permissible for him to do so, while being alone with her; rather, her father, her brother or another must be present with her.
This is because the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi was salaam said:
‘A man may not be secluded with a woman except with a Mahram.’ Muslim no. 1341 (Fatawa Islamiyyah,207/208)
And shaikh al-Albaani was of the view that one is allowed to see the hair after one has proposed.
Someone asked him:
“Is it permissible for a man to look at other than the face and hands of the woman he wishes to propose to, such as looking at her hair and her neck?”
The Shaikh said:
“That which is apparent to me, and Allaah knows best, is that this is permissible without a previous agreement.
He sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam said that which means:
“If anyone’s heart settles on proposing to a woman, then he can look at that which will lead him to marry her”,
[This is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abdillaah radhi Allaahu anhu who said:
The Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam
said:
“If any of you has proposed to a woman, and if he is able to look at that which will lead him to marry her, then he should do so”
As regards a previous agreement, then it is not permissible to look at more than the face and hands.
(Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah – Page 138)
And Allaah knows best
No comments:
Post a Comment