685. Waleemah

 By Asma Bint Shameem

Waleemah is the wedding feast that’s usually given by the groom, as a celebration for the blessings of marriage and to announce the wedding. 

The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf radhi Allaahu anhu when he got married:

“May Allaah bless you. Give a waleemah even if it is with just one sheep.” 

[al-Bukhaari (5155) and Muslim (1427)]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said: 

“It (the waleemah) is prescribed for the husband, because the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam 

said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf radhi Allaahu anhu: 

“Give a waleemah,” and he did not tell his in-laws to do that. 

And because the blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife, because he is the one who sought the woman; it is very rare for the woman to seek the man.“

(al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 12/321)

So it’s usually the groom that arranges for the reception. 

But if the girl’s side is also arranging a *separate* reception or *combining* with the groom’s side and giving a *joint* reception, there’s nothing wrong with that either. 

Shaikh Ibn Uthaymeen said: 

“Accepting an invitation to this feast is obligatory. 

Similarly, if it is organised jointly between the husband and the woman's family, accepting the invitation to it is obligatory, because the husband is the one who is enjoined to provide the wedding feast, because the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf: “Give a wedding feast, even if it is with one sheep.” 

If the wedding feast is provided by the wife's family only, and the husband is going to offer another feast when his wife comes to join him, it is not obligatory to accept the invitation of the wife's family; rather accepting it is Sunnah.”

(Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb)

So this Fatwa clarifies that it’s permissible for the bride’s family to have a separate celebration or they may do a combined reception. 

Whatever is convenient and better for both parties can be worked out. 

The scholars said:

“From this we may note that it is permissible for the wedding feast to be organised jointly between the husband and wife, or the wife's family may organise it. Similarly, the wedding expenses may be shared as agreed between the two parties, and each of them may offer a wedding feast, as is customary in some countries. If there is some dispute as to who is obliged to provide the wedding feast, it is to be provided by the husband, as stated above. But other wedding expenses, such as having a party in a hotel and so on, should be done according to mutual agreement.”

(Islamqa Fatwa #138358)

It’s *recommended* to have the Waleemah after consummation of the marriage but there’s no hard and fast rule about that. 

Whatever’s convenient for both parties is good.

Shaikh Saalih al-Fawzaan said: 

“The time for giving the wedding feast flexible, starting from the time of the marriage contract until the end of the days of the wedding.”

(al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi, 2/364)

Make sure the people who are invited to the Waleemah are not just the rich and elite. 

Rather it’s good to invite even your poor relatives, friends, neighbors. 

Abu Hurayrah radhi Allaahu anhu said: 

“The worst of food is the food of a waleemah to which the rich are invited and the poor are ignored. 

Whoever does not attend has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger.” 

(al-Bukhaari)

When giving a wedding feast, there should be no extravagance, or wasting food. 

Or involve any sin or anything un islaamic practices, like music, free mixing of the genders, women dressed inappropriately, etc. 

And Allaah knows best