296. Obedience To The Husband

By Asma Bint Shameem

Obedience to the husband is very important and is a means to Jannah. 

The Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam said:

“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadaan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of its gates you wish.’” 

(Ibn Hibban; saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 661). 

So if she wants to study the Deen but her husband does not like that, instead of fighting and arguing about it, things should always be worked out amicably between the husband and wife, without causing tensions and unpleasantness. 

She should try and explain to him nicely at an *appropriate time* when he’s ‘more receptive’ such as when he’s not tired, hungry etc., how much it’s important for her to learn further, how it will affect her positively in understanding of the Deen and that in turn will reflect on her character, her outlook, her upbringing of the kids, etc 

See if she can get an elder, an Imaam or friend etc involved a d they can intervene and make him understand.

She should also make duaa for her husband that Allaah opens his heart 

But after all this if he still refuses to let her study, she should listen to him as long as she understands the basic rules of the Deen. 

That’s because the husband must be obeyed as long as he doesn’t tell the wife to do something haraam or against the Sharee’ah.

But at the same time, the husband should also be understanding and kind and should respect the wife’s wishes to study or any other legitimate wishes she may have. And not abuse his power unjustly. 

The scholars said about this issue:

“It is obligatory to obey your husband unless he tells you to do something sinful. So if a husband tells his wife not to go out to work or to study, she has to obey him, and this will lead to her happiness and salvation."

But the husband should not exploit this right to hurt his wife’s feelings or ignore her opinion or go against her wishes. 

Rather he has to fear Allaah and try to consult with his wife and discuss with her, and explain the shar’i ruling to her, and give her permissible alternatives that will make her happy, develop her potential and achieve some of what she wants.” 

(Islamqa Fatwa # 22397)

And Allaah knows best