By Asma bint Shameem
Raising righteous children is a GREAT responsibility
The Prophet (sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
“Every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you is responsible for his flock (those under his care)…”(al-Bukhaari, Muslim)
And if he/she fails in that responsibility, that’s a big sin.
The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:
“There is no person to whom Allaah has given responsibility and dies neglecting that responsibility, but Allaah will deny him Jannah.” (Muslim)
That’s why ibn Umar radhi Allaahu anhu said:
"Raise your children correctly, verily you are responsible for them and you will be questioned regarding your rearing of them." (Shu'ab al Eman 8295)
Having said that, besides making duaa for our kids for their guidance each and every day, I would suggest the following:
- Give him/her a lot of compliments and positive comments.
Focus on the good things they do.
Obviously getting angry doesn’t work with kids these days. Try just love and softness.
- teach him or her an islaamic way of life in every possible way
- teach them Qur’aan at an early age
- go over the meanings in an age appropriate way when they read the Qur’aan
- read them stories of the prophets and the Sahaabah instead of fairy tales and false stories
- teach them short surahs and duaas as they get older
- be friends with like-minded families who are concerned about raising their children islaamically so that we can provide our children good company.
- encourage them to find good friends as they start choosing on their own.
- try and enroll them in islaamic schools
- take them to masjid from an early age so that they’ll grow up loving it, identify with it and learn how to behave in it.
-take them to age appropriate halaqahs and positive heathy activities
- Do stuff together. Whatever he/she enjoys.
Even if you don’t enjoy it, do it for their sake
Maybe cooking, baking, hiking, eating out, zip lining, bowling, shopping.... anything
And do it REGULARLY.
- Limit TV, phone and music.
Subhaan Allaah these are the WORST three things for our kids.
- get them married early when the appropriate match comes along
And the list goes on and on....
Last but not the least, make DUAA for your children from the time they are very little, to be guided and always on the straight path.
We should make duaa
In our own words, especially at times when duaa is more likely to be accepted such as at tahajjud time, in the sujood during the Salaah, in the tashahhud after sending peace and blessings on the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam but before the tasleem, in between adhaan and iqaamah, at the time of breaking the fast, when it rains, etc.
In our own words, especially at times when duaa is more likely to be accepted such as at tahajjud time, in the sujood during the Salaah, in the tashahhud after sending peace and blessings on the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam but before the tasleem, in between adhaan and iqaamah, at the time of breaking the fast, when it rains, etc.
Just spread out your hands and ASK.
And make lots of duaa in your sujood.
You can say the duaas in your own language in your sujood while praying even in the Fardh prayers as well as the Sunnah and Nafl.
But remember not to make a separate sajdah, outside of Salaah for duaa.
That’s not proven from the practice of the Prophet Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam.
Rather make duaa in the sujood DURING your regular Salaah.
Some of the duaas you may include in your daily supplications for your kids:
1.
رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا
"Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqun"
(Surah al-Furqaan: 74)
2.
رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ
“…Oh Rabb, inspire me to give You thanks for the bounties you have granted to me and my parents, and to act righteously to please You. Lord, make my offspring virtuous. Lord I turn to you in repentance; I am a Muslim”. (Surah Al-Ahqaf: 15)
3.
رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ
“My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.”
(Surah Ibraheem :40)
This constant worry and struggle for our kids will continue and this process will go on until they are even adults and you are old!
May Allaah enable us to raise our kids in an Islaamic manner and guide them and protect them always
Ameen
Ameen
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