312. Dowry

By Asma Bint Shameem

Anything that the woman receives as dowry or gifts or her own earning is her property. 

And she can spend it or save it as she likes. 

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah al-Jibreen said: 
“The wife owns her wealth and she has the right to dispose of it. 
She may give it as gifts, give it in charity, pay off her debts, give up her rights to money that she is owed or give up her right to inheritance to whomever she wants, whether relatives or others. 
Her husband has no right to object if she is mature and of sound mind. Her husband does not have the right to dispose of any of her wealth except with her consent.”
(Fataawa al-Mar’ah al-Muslimah, 2/674).

1. First of all, the concept of ‘dowry’ in Islaam is totally opposite of what the Muslims of the Subcontinent have understood it to be. 

It’s not the ‘father’ who gives the dowry. 

It’s the *’groom’* that brings the dowry and gifts for his new bride. 

That is separate from the house, furnishings, clothes, jewelry and whatever else he wants to gift her. 

2. We’re supposed to be moderate in our weddings without extravagance and pomp. 

A person should spend on what he needs and whatever is appropriate. 

Spending too much and focusing on “looks” or “appearances” is not appropriate. 

Extravagance means “to exceed the limits of what is required or what is customary”

And Allaah has prohibited this. 

Allaah  says: 

“Verily the spendthrifts are the brothers of the devils.” [Surah al-Isrâ’: 27] 

On the other hand, miserliness or stinginess, meaning spending less than what is required, is also something which is prohibited. 

What is needed is to strike a just balance between the two extremes, the middle path between these two. 

3. If a father wants to give his daughter something as a gift on her wedding, that’s fine. 

However he must remember that it counts as a “gift”. 

And he has to be fair to all of his kids when gifting them anything. 

If he gives one and does not give the other, then that’s unfair and the person is sinful in front of Allaah. 

al-Nu’maan radhi Allaahu anhu said that his father brought him to the Messenger of Allaah Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam 

and said, 

“I have given this son of mine a slave.” 

He said,
“Have you given a similar gift to all of your sons?” 

He said, 
“No.” 

He said, 
“Then take it back.” (al-Bukhaari, Muslim)

According to another version he said: 

“Fear Allaah and treat your children fairly.” 

So he went back and took back his gift.” (al-Bukhaari)

And Allaah knows best