334. Muslim Girls Marrying Non-Muslim Men.. A CALAMITY Of Unimaginable Proportions

By Asma bint Shameem

A new kind of calamity has hit the muslim world especially those living in non-Muslim lands.

Our muslim girls are marrying non-Muslim men and nobody seems to care!

This is happening left and right...in families that are practicing muslims and in families that are not so practicing.

Is that really allowed?

What does Islaam say about that?

Let's take a look.

Allaah says:

وَلَا تُنكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا

"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone)" (Surah al-Baqarah :221)

Here Allaah is telling us directly...clear and straight.
"Do not give your daughters to non Muslim men."

Simple as that. 

The Order couldn't be more straightforward or clearer.

In the tafseer of this aayah, at-Tabari said:

"What Allaah, Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala means in this verse is that He has forbidden believing women to marry a mushrik (polytheist) of any type. So do not, O Muslim men, give them (Muslim women) in marriage to them (mushrikeen), for that is forbidden to you."
(Tafseer at-Tabari, 4/370)

And Al-Qurtubi said:

"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon" means do not give a Muslim woman in marriage to a mushrik. The ummah is unanimously agreed that a mushrik should not marry a believing woman under any circumstances, because that undermines Islam." (Tafseer al-Qurtubi (3/72)

Al-Baghawi said:

"And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allah Alone)" - there is consensus on this point: it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a mushrik man."

In another aayah, Allaah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا جَاءَكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتُ مُهَاجِرَاتٍ فَامْتَحِنُوهُنَّ اللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِهِنَّ فَإِنْ عَلِمْتُمُوهُنَّ مُؤْمِنَاتٍ فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَّهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ وَآتُوهُم مَّا أَنفَقُوا

"O you who believe! When believing women come to you as emigrants, examine them, Allaah knows best as to their Faith. Then if you ascertain that they are true believers, send them not back to the disbelievers, they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them." (Surah al-Mumtahinah :10)

Here Allaah is directly addressing us as believers.
"O you who believe..."

Isn't that you and me?

Yes, it is.

WE claim to believe.

*So pay attention*.

Our Rabb is calling out to you and me and telling us straight up that disbelieving men are NOT LAWFUL for believing women.

Regarding this aayah, Ibn Katheer said:

"Allaah says: 
"they are not lawful (wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers lawful (husbands) for them". This verse is the one which prohibited Muslim women to mushrik men."
(Tafseer al-Qur'an al-'Azeem, 13/521)

It's as simple as that. No ifs and buts about it.

Such a marriage is NOT valid!

That's because one of the conditions of a valid Islaamic marriage is that the man should be Muslim.\

If a muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, this marriage is NOT A marriage in the eyes of the Shari'ah.

This woman is making a grave error and is guilty of committing zina!

May Allaah protect us.

Statement of the Islamic Fiqh Council regarding this matter:

"Marriage of a kaafir to a Muslim woman is haraam and is not permissible, according to scholarly consensus, and there is no doubt about that because of what is stated in the shar'i texts." (Fataawa Islamiyyah (3/231)

Just look at the rulings on such a woman!

"If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man, knowing the ruling thereon, then she is a zaaniyah and is subject to the hadd punishment for zina.(Ya Allaah!!!)If she was unaware of the ruling, then she is excused, but they must be separated, with no need for talaaq (divorce), because the marriage is invalid in the first place."
(Islamqa)

Astaghfirullaah!

Do we need any more proof than this?!

Should I go to such a wedding if I'm invited?

NO we should not be going to such a wedding that's not valid in the sight of Allaah.
If we take part in something that's haraam, then we're indirectly condoning that haraam.

In fact this is cooperating in sin and transgression, which itself is a sin.

Allaah says:

"And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression" (Surah al-Maa'idah :2)

What should I do?

Part of our being a Muslim is to enjoin the good and forbid the evil.

So here's what we can do depending on the situation.

1. If it's possible, go talk to the parties involved and help the man to understand and accept Islaam and say the Shahadah. That is the best scenario.

2. If he does not want to become Muslim, then explain to them how this marriage would not be valid and try to talk them out of it.

3. If they don't listen and still want to carry on with this adulterous relationship then simply DO NOT attend this so-called 'wedding' and be devastated about it in your heart. But at least you did your job.

The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:

"Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand [by taking action]; if he cannot, then with his tongue [by speaking out]; and if he cannot, then with his heart [by at least hating it and believing that it is wrong], and that is the weakest of faith." (Muslim)

But I love the man!

Many sisters 'think' they 'love' the non-Muslim man and they can't live without them.

Dear sister, this just a trick of the Shaytaan.

This so-called 'Love' for a non-Muslim man will destroy your dunya and Aakhirah, UNLESS he accepts Islaam and sincerely becomes Muslim.

Just think about it!

If the marriage is against the orders of Allaah, how can their be Khair in it?!

How can their be peace, love and happiness in it?!

How can there be ANY Barakah in it if you'll displease Allaah?!

Actually, it's better for you to marry a SLAVE who's Muslim rather than marry a free man who's not a Muslim.

Allaah says:

And verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikoon) invite you to the Fire, but Allaah invites (you) to Paradise and forgiveness by His Leave"
(Surah al-Baqarah :221)

Imam al-Tabari said:

What is said concerning the interpretation of the words "And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikoon till they believe (in Allaah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater), even though he pleases you" is that what Allaah meant by that is that Allaah has forbidden the believing women from marrying to a mushrik, no matter what kind of shirk he believes in. So, O believers, do not give your daughters in marriage to them, for that is forbidden to you. For you to give them in marriage to a believing slave who believes in Allaah and His Messenger and that which he brought from Allaah is better for you than to give them in marriage to a free mushrik even if he is of noble descent and honourable origins, even if you like his descent and background...

But then, why are Muslim MEN allowed to marry a woman of the People of the Book?

First of all, when Allaah and His Messenger have ordered us something there's no arguing about it or any other way around it.

Allaah says:

"It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error" (Surah al-Ahzaab :36)

So if we are believers, we obey.That's what BELIEVERS do.
....even if they don't understand it.

Just obey.

No questions asked.

THAT is true submission to Allaah.

THAT is Islaam.

Allaah says:

"The only saying of the faithful believers, when they are called to Allaah (His Words, His Orders) and His Messenger to judge between them, is that they say: 'We hear and we obey.' And such are the prosperous ones (who will live forever in Paradise).And whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger, fears Allaah, and keeps his duty (to Him), such are the successful ones"
(Surah an-Noor :51-52)

Even if there were no other reasons, and no other explanations except this one, that would be ENOUGH for us as Muslims to obey Allaah's Command.

But for those who want further explanation:

As Muslims we believe Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa is al-Hakeem, al-'Aleem, the Most-Wise, the Most-Knowledgable.
There is a reason for everything He does. And He knows better.

Allaah has allowed the Muslim man to marry a woman who's a Christian or a Jew and NOT ALLOWED a Muslim woman to marry a nom-Muslim man because of several reasons:

A) The man is in a position of leadership over the woman, and it is not allowed for a non-Muslim to be in a position of leadership over a Muslim woman

The Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam said:

"Islam prevails and is not prevailed over." (al-Daaraqutni and others -hasan by al-Albaani)

Allaah tells us in the Qur'aan that men are 'qawwaam' over their wives, meaning they're in charge.

The husband is the leader or head of the household and his status within the family is higher than that of his wife.
Because of this higher position, if a muslim woman were to marry a non-Muslim man, the husband would influence his wife in a negative way and make her leave her Deen or at least be very lax about it.

He would not be helping her to obey Allaah and in fact he would be an impediment in doing that. And would be an obstruction between her and Jannah.

C) The higher status of the husband will also influence the children to follow their father's religion, which would be nothing short of a DISASTER for the family, if these children grow up to be non-Muslim.

Conclusion*

Faith is not just words, my sister, unless it's accompanied by ACTIONS.

If Allaah has prohibited Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men, even if they're from the People of the Book, then we have to submit to that order and accept it without any qualms about it.

Allaah's Guidance is the best guidance and His Way is the best way.

Alhamdulillaah.

رَضِيتُ بِاللَّهِ رَبًّا ، وَبِالْإِسْلَامِ دِينًا ، وَبِمُحَمَّدٍ رَسُولًا

"I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) as my Prophet"

And Allaah knows best.