338. Summary Of Marriage And Divorce Rulings

By Asma bint Shameem 

Summary of Marriage and Divorce Rulings....in the light of Surah Al-Baqarah Ayaat 228 – 242]

These are instructions derived from the ayaat of the Qur’an that every woman must know. Please share it with others, so that we stop playing with Allah’s ayaat and learn what it means to be a Muslim

Nikkah is a contract between a woman and a man about which each of them will be answerable. Tying this knot means abiding by the rulings of this contract.

*Therefore, the first step to take before entering this contract is the choice of partner*

Allah commands us to give preference to one’s Deen over their worldly status and glamour. It does not mean that the person should be a Hafidh Qur’an or an ‘Aalim, but at least they should be regular with their obligatory duties particularly the five daily prayers. 

This is the "only act of worship that appears between the ayaat of divorce". 

It teaches us that prayer is the most important things. Do not fall for someone’s Islamic name, beard or religious talk, see if they also honor the Rights of Allah

Because he who honors the Rights of the Creator will not oppress the creation.

For a nikkah to be valid, there should a wali [guardian] of the woman, mahr [dowry], witnesses and ejaab and qabool.

If the mahr is not decided and there is no intention to pay it either, then this is not nikkah but zina [adultery].

Any marriage contract entered with deception will be void of any kind of khair [blessing]. 

Marrying in the month of Shawwal [the month after Ramadan] is mustahab [preferred], however, this is not a condition. 

Also remember that in Islam we do not believe in bad omens. There is no prohibition in marrying in Muharram or Safr.

The nikkah should be announced; eloping or marrying in court without the permission of the wali is not allowed. This means having secret lovers is also prohibited. 

A Muslim woman cannot be married to a non-Muslim man (including men from the People of the Book).  Do not congratulate someone if they get married to a Hindu, a Buddhist, an atheist, or a Christian and a Jew. Do not participate in their sin.

There are three ways through which a marriage contract can be terminated: talaq, khula and fasq. 

*Talaq* can only be given by the husband. It has two types: revocable and irrevocable. 

The Sunnah way is to divorce the wife only once and let the waiting period expire. 

The wife should then be sent to her parents’ homes with mata’ [material gifts]. 

Giving three divorces at one time is reprehensible and an innovation. The Companions radhi Allahu ‘anhum would not divorce their wives in such a manner.

In revocable divorce (first divorce), wife will complete her ‘Iddah [waiting period] in her husband’s home and also adorn herself. If she is pregnant she will inform the husband. 

During this waiting period, no other man can send her marriage proposal. 

At the end of this term, the husband has a choice either to take back his wife or to let the waiting period expire and set her free. 

If he retains her then this should be done with kindness. She should not be retained to be harmed and humiliated. 

*The words used in these ayaat are ma’aroof and ehsaan and there is also a constant reminder of taqwa [Allah consciousness]*

*In khula*, the wife can return the dowry and ransom herself. 

It is taken when a woman dislikes her husband to the intensity that she cannot fulfill his conjugal rights. Taking khula without a valid reason is a sinful act.

*A hadeeth recorded by Imam Bukhari narrates: “Any woman who seeks a divorce [khula] without a legitimate reason, she will not smell the fragrance of Paradise.”*_

*The waiting period* for divorce taken through khula is one month. There can be no reconciliation 

*Fasq* is only given by the judge when husband refuses to divorce the wife.  

*The ‘Iddah for divorce* is up to three menstrual cycles (calculated as per lunar calendar) whereas for khula it is only one menstrual cycle. 

 In khula, the woman has to complete her ‘Iddah at a place other than husband’s house. Same is the case with irrevocable divorce. 

Once the waiting term comes to an end, the woman can marry anywhere she desires in an acceptable way and her guardians cannot stop her 

▪︎ ‘Iddah is a woman’s healing period during which she must not be harmed, insulted or abused in any way. 

She must stay in her home and not step out unless there is a genuine need such as doctor’s visit. It is not appropriate to take her out for picnic or to restaurants to distract her mind. 

A widow is permitted by Allah  to mourn her husband’s death up to four months and ten days. For all others, it is only three days then everyone should return to their routine lives_

 During the ‘Iddah, a woman must not adorn herself (for irrevocable divorce and widows), apply perfume or wear attractive clothes. This does not mean she will not take bath or wear tatters but she will remain simple.

Watching Indian movies, we have adopted a trend where we make divorced women or widows wear plain white clothes, break their bangles and utter heart-wrenching, pitiful statements. This is not the Islamic way.

Divorced parents should not harm one another or their children after parting their ways.

*Rulings regarding payment of mahr:*

The most preferred way is to pay the mahr right with the rukhsati [when the bride leaves her parents’ home for her husband’s home after nikkah], there should be no delay in it because this is a debt on the husband. 

_If the husband dies, then this dowry will be paid first (similar to debt) and then the inheritance shares will be distributed among the heirs._

*If nikkah has taken place but mahr has not been decided and neither has the rukhsati taken place and the woman is divorced*, then she will be given mut’ah talaq according to husband’s financial standing.

*If nikkah has taken place and mahr too has been decided, however rukhsati didn’t take place and the woman is divorced* she will receive half of her mahr amount. 

In this situation, both the woman and the husband have been commanded by Allah to forgive and forego their due right. It means that the girl should forego her entire dowry and not even take the half amount whereas the husband should be generous and pay the entire amount of dowry.

*If rukhsati took place with mahr being decided*, then mahr mithal must be paid. It means paying an amount equivalent to the dowry of other women in the girl’s family.