By Asma Bint Shameem
The basic principle is that a woman must obey her husband.
And that includes visiting her parents or family.
In the story of the slander of our Mother Aaishah radhi Allaahu anhaa, when she found out that they had accused her of such a horrific crime, and the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam was quiet about it because he had not received revelations regarding that, she asked the Prophet sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam:
“Will you allow me to go to my parents?”
(Al-Bukhaari, Muslim)
Al-Iraaqi said:
“Her words, “Will you allow me to go to my parents?” indicate that the wife should not go to her parents’ house except with the permission of her husband, unlike her going out relieve herself, for which she does not need his permission, as is indicated in this hadeeth.”
(Tarh al-Tathreeb (8/58)
The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
“It is not permissible for a woman to go out of her husband’s house without his permission, whether to go to her parents or anyone else, because that is one of her duties, unless there is a shar’i justification that makes it necessary for her to go out.”
[Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (19/165)]
So his obedience comes before anything else.
However if there’s no legitimate or valid reason for the husband to prevent his wife from visiting her family, then he’s *sinful* for doing that. And he’s answerable to Allaah for oppressing his wife and abusing his authority over her.
But she must still obey him.
She can try and talk to him if it’s for no reason and if he doesn’t budge, she can get some elders of the family involved, maybe an uncle or his father or brother or even a shaikh.
And Allaah knows best
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